Sihanoukville nightlife. Sihanoukville

The first impression was not very happy. Rather, depressing. Now we can say with confidence that you cannot rent a house in Cambodia over the Internet for a long time. Because until you see it with your own eyes, you will not understand whether this place is good or bad. You can rent for three days, and then choose housing for the long term on the spot. Our first impressions of the country were largely due to the poor area in which we settled for a month. It's been a month since we moved to another area. So what can we say about Cambodia now? I note that each of the 10 points requires a separate article. Everything will be briefly discussed here.

1. Khmers

Khmers are kind and sympathetic people. One day, when I was sitting on the beach and admiring the sea, it seemed to them that I was upset about something. They asked me if everything was okay, if I needed help, they asked me to smile, otherwise “look how happy everyone around you is, you’re the only one who doesn’t smile.” I feel that some here may notice that these compassionate guys simply wanted to rob me by talking. But this is unlikely. They can steal something unnoticed, seizing a convenient moment. But deliberately starting a conversation in order to distract and rob is too complicated a scheme, in which the robbers can also be remembered. Such schemes occur, but only with drunken Europeans who cannot remember themselves.

Khmers are athletic. Near one of the temples in Sihanoukville, there is a place where young people gather every day to play badminton (by the way, many people here love this game) and do aerobics to the music. Volleyball and football are also played.

Khmers play volleyball on Nice Beach. Photo by fox2fox.today

Beggars We saw it three times. They don't bother you. They say you can’t fight them off in Siem Reap. And in Sihanoukville this is still very good.

By the way, about poverty. I just want to say a hackneyed phrase in which only the name of the city changes - "Sihanoukville is a city of contrasts." Here it is easy to meet people living in huts made of planks together, or in canvas tents. It’s just as easy to see a luxury jeep parked next to a scary barracks. The owner's jeep.

Some Khmers speak Russian. One cashier at a local store speaks Russian so fluently that we didn’t immediately realize that she was Khmer. He also manages to joke in Russian.

2. Crime

We already We are not afraid to walk and drive around the city after dark. We were really afraid in the first days, having read so much about crime in Cambodia. And the area in which we lived, with its entire appearance, suggested: “Stay at home!” As it turned out, you can walk the streets all night and not find any unpleasant adventures. The main thing is not to climb into unlit areas. Well, don’t be a drunk rich fool who tells and shows everyone how much money he has, and then falls asleep on the bar counter.

But, I must say, the stories about theft that we read on the Internet turned out to be true. They steal. Bikes, bags and anything else that doesn't fit well. So the principle of a safe life is this: you need everything to be in good order. In the sense that the bike should not be parked alone somewhere in the jungle, but in a decent parking lot next to other bikes. In addition, do not forget to “lock” the wheel and lock the steering wheel. By the way, if, when renting a bike, you leave not your passport, but money as a deposit, then the amount will be impressive. As a rule, from $800 and above (so that in case of theft the owner of the bike does not suffer any significant losses). Well, the fact that you shouldn’t use your iPhone to light your way in a dark alley is just the talk of the town. After making purchases in a store, it is better to put away your change without leaving the cash register, rather than stuffing bucks into your pockets on the street. Well, in general, you understand the principle: simple rules for careful handling of valuables - and life will become calmer.

So far (pah-pah-pah) we have never been robbed. Even things left on the beach unattended for several hours remained safe and sound with all contents in their pockets. Perhaps we were just lucky. But it’s nice to remember this.

3. Traffic and police

The movement is hellish. In the first days we didn’t think so. This is true. Turning left from the far right lane is in the order of things (I remind you that in Cambodia, traffic is on the right). Driving through a busy intersection through a red light without looking both ways is the norm. At the same time, everyone is driving very slowly. The average speed is 20-30 km/h. We didn’t even suspect that it was possible to ride so slowly that the speed of a biker was almost equal to the speed of a standing person. And they also violate it slowly and boringly.

Although, to our credit, we did see a few bikers who they even looked in the mirrors and turned on the turn signals.

As for the roads themselves, our opinion has not changed. They are here... in the amount of 4-5 pieces. Everything else is a terrible mess of dirt and dust or asphalt with so many holes and holes that driving along it at speeds above 20 km/h is not possible.

Cambodian policeman. Photo by fox2fox.today

Policemen on the roads almost every day. During the day, they simply stand in groups of 2-4 people, slow down and ask for a fine-bribe of $1-5. In the evening they can organize a real raid with cones placed on the road. If you find yourself in such a raid, be prepared for large fines. Thank God, we have safely passed such places so far, but we have heard stories about the size of the fine: $20-50. They are fined mainly for driving without a helmet (in Cambodia, only the driver needs a helmet) and for not having a license (only local Cambodian licenses are valid, they can be obtained if you already have at least some rights, but presenting an international license from another country is useless).

4. Housing

It turned out that you can find inexpensive and pleasant accommodation with a wonderful view of the sea. Now we live in a good hotel on the shore of one of the beaches (the sea is across the road) and pay $170 a month for a room. However, cooking and smoking are not prohibited in the room.

View from the balcony of our hotel to Victory Beach. Photo by fox2fox.today

5. Sea

The sea is beautiful. There were still no waves. Sometimes it feels like it’s not a sea, but a lake - it’s so quiet. Even during the rainy season.

Otres Beach. Photo by fox2fox.today

Some beaches look unkempt, but if you really want the purest sand, then welcome to Sokha Beach.

Cafe There are some on popular beaches.

I would like to rehabilitate Nice Beach, which is behind the airport. In our article about the sea, we described our first visit there. He was very unsuccessful. The sea seemed dirty, the shore was strewn with garbage, in short, it was terrible. We recently went to this beach again and drove further along it. It turned out that it was very long and not so dirty. There is a small village on the beach.

Photo by fox2fox.today

The sea on Nice beach is not clear, rather cloudy. The grayish color of the water is due to the almost black sand. But it was quite pleasant to swim. The only thing that confuses me is the very flat bottom. You walk and walk, and everything is up to your knees.

Nice Beach. Photo by fox2fox.today

Our favorite beach is Victory. It is quiet, beautiful, and, contrary to what many “bloggers” think, you can swim in it. The noisiest beach is Ochheuteal. Although it’s a stretch, it can be compared with Patong.

6. Markets, shops and products

There are 24-hour stores. Well, there is definitely one. We saw it ourselves. And they even came.

There are several markets. The two most famous are day market near the popular Samudera supermarket and the night market at Ochheutele. The daytime closes at approximately 17:00 - 17:30. You can find anything there: from raw fish to concert consoles. Night market not so nocturnal. At 12 at night everything is definitely closed there. In addition, there is a small selection of goods.

Sihanoukville Night Market. Photo kampuchia.ru

You need to bargain always and everywhere. Especially in the markets. Without haggling, out of the goodness of your heart, you can buy 2 fried chicken legs for $3. If you haggle, it will be 3 times cheaper. It is advisable to learn a few phrases in Khmer and Khmer numbers. Then sellers will be much more accommodating. Perhaps they are not traded only in large stores.

Popular stores 2: Samudera And Orange. There are products for every taste and color. Yesterday, for example, we bought wonderful mugs with minions:

Photo by fox2fox.today

But seriously, the range is really quite good. The choice of products is good - what is called “choose or want”. Just keep in mind that you need to pay attention to best before date and evaluate the “suspiciousness” of the product. The only thing we saw that was expired was moldy baked goods (so moldy that even an inattentive person would have noticed). We also heard about “scorched” canned tuna. So our job is to warn.

We will certainly post prices for the most basic products on the website. In the meantime, you can get your bearings on prices using this receipt. We left so much yesterdaySamudera. Prices in dollars.

Photo by fox2fox.today

7. Money

There are two currencies in use - riel and US dollars. You can pay with dollars anywhere and for anything. Bloggers write that dollars are accepted more readily. We didn’t notice much of a difference; perhaps the willingness has pragmatic roots - if you pay in dollars, you end up with less paperwork.

The riel to dollar exchange rate is 4,000 riel to 1 dollar. For a long time we were confused about local money, but everything turns out to be simpler if we immediately identify riel with dollars. 1,000 riel - 25 cents, 500 riel - 12.5 cents, 5,000 riel - $1.25, 10,000 - $2.5, 20,000 - $5.

We didn't see any coins in Cambodia at all. The smallest bill is 100 riel and it is paper. However, they say that coins exist in Cambodia, and someone's grandfather even saw them once.

Often sellers do not have change. It was difficult to get used to this after Thailand, but it is a fact. There is change for small bills, but God forbid they give you 50 or 100 dollars in a cafe or small shop. You should always have small bills with you!

You can change money at any bank. This is a free procedure; a passport is not required for exchange. It’s enough to say something like “Change me, please.” One, Two, Five, Ten dollars” and hand over a $50-$100 bill. On weekends the banks are closed, but Samudera is open and always has change. On weekends we change money there, buying all sorts of little things.

By the way, ATMs only dispense dollars.

8. Local Russians

From the very first days, local Russians seemed very cute And responsive people, and remain so to this day. Moreover, many of them are very talented. They organize ART evenings, exhibitions, sing songs and play musical instruments.

They are athletic and well organized: they play football (adults and children), volleyball, and organize motocross races.

Sihanoukville is a fairly large city by Cambodian standards, and it has more than just hotels for beachgoers. For example, here at the entrance to the city there is a factory for the production of Angkor beer. The center of Sihanoukville is not on the seashore, but at a distance of about one and a half kilometers from it, but due to the terrain, it is realistic to walk three kilometers to the nearest Serendipity beach or take a motorcycle taxi for a dollar.

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For tourists, the city center is interesting mainly because there is a market and a Sumadera supermarket - probably the most reputable supermarket in the city, where you can buy both imported delicacies and locally produced milk from Sihanoukville. It’s sad to live without a market, because fruits and vegetables are not sold on the beaches. And in the city center you can stay in a hotel, which is what I did all the time.

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Zhongguo Guesthouse (China) is located near the Central Market and Capitol Bus Stop. It’s nice that seasonality does not affect the price - a room costs $10 in both August and December. This is a truly Chinese hotel - there are even amulets hanging on the doors.

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The rooms are spacious, have air conditioning, hot showers, and decent Wi-fi.

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The room where I lived in August.

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In the center you always have all kinds of fruits at hand; in the morning you can buy crispy French rolls for 700 riel ($0.18). Other services are also available, for example, you can get a haircut for $1. But you won’t be able to wake up and go to the beach; it’s a 40-minute walk or a motorcycle ride. But if this is not important to you, then a hotel is the right option, because you won’t find accommodation of this quality for $10 near the beach, especially in high season.

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Panorama of the city from the top floor of the hotel.

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From here you can watch sunsets.

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The center of Sihanoukville is similar to other Cambodian cities.

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Playground.

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The whole party in Sihanoukville is on Serendipity Beach. The rest are more suitable for meditation, and Serendipity consists entirely of bars.

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It all starts at the crossroads with the lion statue.

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There are many casinos around. People come to Cambodia from Thailand and Vietnam, where gambling is prohibited. Unlike Macau, you can play poker here.

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On the first line of the beach there are only bars, soft chairs and tables next to them, so to sit comfortably on the beach (and not on the sand), you need to buy a shake or coffee for $1. Very convenient, because you still need a cool drink, and when sun loungers belong to hotels, getting them is difficult or expensive.

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Happy hour is here 24 hours a day. Cocktails for $2, beer for $0.5.

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People take selfies here rather than swim, and kebabs and other Chinese snacks are actively sold on the beach.

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A typically Cambodian relaxation area with hammocks.

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But sunsets on this beach are inconvenient to watch; hills and trees get in the way.

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The Serendipity area is where Sihanoukville's nightlife centers. You shouldn’t expect something like a Full Moon Party - there are much fewer people, but nevertheless, this is a great rarity for the region - a European-style disco, where people party on the dance floor, rather than sitting at tables with beer.

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The oldest bar in Sihanoukville is Utopia. It's more of a pre-party place in the evening. You can live there in a hostel for $2 per bed in a room without air conditioning or $3 with air conditioning.

Let's start with the calm ones "beer evenings". Beer in Cambodia is not hard to find - Angkor beer dominates, with beers called Cambodia, Phnom Penh, Banker, Anchor (pronounced An-Chor to distinguish it from Ang-kor) and Klang. If you have a passionate desire to drink "proper" beer, drinks from microbreweries You will definitely like Phnom Penh.

At the far end of Sisowath Quay, at the Himawari Hotel(313 Sisowath Quay to be exact) has its own microbrewery. The selection of beer there is small, but the price tag is quite high. Happy hour is the best time to try Gem and Jade dark beers, Nelson pale ales, and Red Dragon Cider with unusual flavors (ingredients like pitaya and black pepper).

Near Wat Bot you will find "Munich Beer Restaurant"(68 Sothearos Boulevard) – another beer bar. Very popular with local drinkers, with excellent snacks and two main beers. Downstairs, if it's hot, you'll have air conditioning, and upstairs you'll have a great view of the Vietnamese Friendship Park.

"Kingdom Brewery"(at 1748 National Road 5), a short tuk-tuk ride from the most touristy part of town, opened in 2009 and brews German-style pilsners and dark lagers.
By the way, in the city you can book a tour of this brewery, after which you can drink the beer whose production process you just watched (along with snacks it costs about $12). If you're not interested in the beer-making process, you can drink the brew from this brewery in bars throughout the city.

Cider from Bruntys- Cambodia's first cider to be produced on an industrial scale, all thanks to the British from South West England. The first batch of the drink became available in April 2013, and today it can be found in several bars in Phnom Penh, including Green Vespa. There is traditional apple cider, there is sweeter pear and strawberry.

Let's move on. Nightlife. Any evening in Phnom Penh must begin from admiring the sunset and the river. For these purposes, head to any rooftop bar, for example, "Le Moon"(and it’s also great to admire the sunset from the deck of a cruise boat).
When night has already fallen, it's time to have a good dinner. Beer gardens and spacious restaurants are scattered throughout the city, and most will offer English menus, which is great. Sovanna Restaurant on Street 21 (opposite the Willow hotel) is popular among Cambodian families, expats and tourists - everyone comes here for a late dinner to taste grilled pork and beef with pepper sauce, or healthy crab with rice, and all this is supposed to be washed down with Angkor beer (which will be brought in a jug).

Further let's go to the party. Look through the hotel's magazines, such as The Advisor and Wupp, and see what concerts and parties are coming up. Bars Equinox and Metahouse, as a rule, do not disappoint - there is live music or DJs (on weekends).

At a certain point, usually after midnight, tourists really need to go to nightclubs. Khmer nightclubs are very loud and drinks are expensive. If clubs with seductive names "Egypt", "K Club" or "Nova" If you're not impressed, head to Street 51 for the clubs "Heart of Darkness" or "Pontoon".
The music in 'The Heart' is not bad, usually Top 40 (well, and some very boring stuff, like Gangnam Style), and 'Pontoon' often invites foreign DJs - entrance to such parties is paid (but not particularly expensive).

Street 51 can offer a couple more late night bars. So if you just don't want to go home or have already lost your sense of direction and don't remember where your hotel is (and don't even want to remember), try "Howies", "The Drunken Sponge" or "Zeppelin Bar". Often these bars are open until 05:00. When first light hits the bar and you're asked to, so to speak, you can head to Paddy Rice on the riverbank, grab a Bloody Mary and order a bacon burger (kitchen opens at 6:00).

If you are interested drag show , then a little more about them. In general, tourists often expect "edgy" nightlife similar to that in Thailand, but Phnom Penh is categorically not Bangkok. There are a lot of taboos here, which seems funny for a city known for its sex tourism. Fortunately, no prohibitions apply to drag shows and currently there are several places in the capital where you can enjoy this unusual action. It’s worth noting that these shows here are clearly not at such a high level as in Thailand, the artists’ costumes are kind of homemade, and their singing is a bit crooked. But still, it's fun! Club existing since 2008 "Blue Chilli"(St 178, 36) is a favorite among both expats and locals.
The place is filled very densely with guests every Friday and Saturday evening - everyone comes to watch the show at 23:00, during which the artistes randomly sing along to the soundtrack, walking around the bar in shoes with such high heels, the sight of which will make even the most notorious fashionistas uncomfortable. If you don’t want to be involved in the show, follow the rule “Never look a transvestite in the eyes,” and generally sit further away, where there are fewer people and it’s easier to breathe.

Nearby is "Rainbow Bar"(St 172, building 73).
Here you will see a variety of “Biense” and “Nicki Minaj” perform, and these are mostly dance shows. Or rather, dancing. The shows take place every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and it's best to come early to avoid standing around for the entire show (which usually starts at 10 p.m.). If you end up with a carpenter at the beginning and there are so many people that you have to sit on a stool behind the threshold, you will be able to watch the show on the big screen - not a single wig or heel will be out of sight.

New club (a couple of blocks from the above) – "2 Colors"(St 13, 225), with a nice lounge atmosphere. There's a drag show on Thursdays with many of the same girls performing at Blue Chilli, so it's a good alternative if you don't get to see the show on the weekend.

In my opinion, in such a large country as Cambodia there are only 3 attractions:Angkor, the beach town of Sihanoukville and the Genocide Museum in Phnom Penh.

The vast Angkor complex and all its associated satellite buildings are located in and around the town of Siem Reap.

A fastidious tourist will need at least three days to climb into all the holes and stairs in the countless temples and complexes of Greater Angkor, and therefore the question of evening leisure naturally arises.

The following options came to my mind (add salt and pepper to your taste)::

1. Pub Street (Pub Street, Siem Reap) in the center of the Old Town and its cheerful, noisy restaurants and cafes;

2. A couple of markets with all kinds of tourist and souvenir junk

3. Antique costume shows, the leitmotif of which are the stories and dances of mythical heavenly whores;

4. Well, related to point 3, testing of Cambodian whores, only modern, alive, flesh and blood, especially since this stuff is in bulk in the city and almost for nothing.

In this text we will consider the third position.

There are four main (I emphasize, main!) theatrical shows in the city:

– Apsara & old traditional Khmer dance, Koulen Restaurant, Sivatha Street, Siem Reap, Cambodia)

– Smile of Angkor ( Smile of Angkor ,No. 12-13, Sivatha (St.), Mondul 2 Village, Sangkat Svay Dangkum, Siem Reap)

– Broadway show of a certain Rosanna (Rosana Broadway,National Road No. 6 – Chong Koasou Village, Slor Kram Commune, Siem Reap 855)

– Traditional Khmer dances at the ACODO children's center (Traditional Khmer Dance at ACODO Orphanage, Tonle Sap Road (Phnom Kom) – Watsvay Village, Siem Reap)

I can’t really say anything about everything except the first one, except that fragmentary information and rumors from discussions over a glass of Angkor Beer on Pub Street.

I know that in “The Smile of Angkor” the price for a performance with lunch according to the standard is about 40 dollars, but many pay 50 or even 60, because it is always packed here, mega-buses with citizens of China and Japan land here. and everyone knows how disciplined, united and monolithic they are. That is, you can’t get to the buffet table, but during the performance the hubbub is unimaginable... Tickets must be purchased in advance, say, from agencies on Pub Street.

They also say that this show belongs to the Thais, and instead of physiologically correct girls, ladyboys work in it. So you have to be careful when taking pictures after the concert :-).

The action itself is on the level: laser effects, choreography and acrobats, but these ladyboys, when they are not busy in the act, stand near the stage and constantly laugh wildly, probably attracting the attention of potential clients. A friend wanted to throw a chair at them...

And one more nuance: this “Smile of Angkor” is located on a rather remote outskirts, so you need to take care of the return flight, say, arrange with a tuk-tuk or taxi so that you arrive by 21.00: the same friend told me that he ran along the gullies, sticking out his tongue, while it was exorbitantly expensive didn’t persuade some bastard tuker...

In the same “ass of the world” there is a pedophile show in the ACODO children's center. Western European or American mature aunties and uncles are simply having a blast here: they squeeze cute Khmer men before and after, clap with all their might and shout approvingly “bravo” and “encore”, give gifts and money,
They communicate in English or French (here these are almost the official languages).In short, everything is as the great Madonna and Jolie bequeathed.

It seems good, but we once discussed the topic with one guy, an English volunteer, and this is what he said.

Children, mostly boys from poor peasant families, are eager to come here. They hope to go out on a bright path and all that, but they also just love to dress up, put on makeup, sing and dance, they love gifts and
courtship, do not disdain private communication, and even on the contrary, the entire system only welcomes it. Is this what they work for every day: training in the morning, concert in the evening, sleep at night?

And there is also hack work on the side - backup dancers and mini-shows in hotels, clubs or private parties...

And they also have bosses, each of whom has almost a ton of gold and stones hanging on their bodies, and in the garage there are whole cavalcades of top-end cars. They respect SUVs very much there – the roads are so-so.

What I bought it for from an Englishman is why I sell it, although what’s incredible about that? Everything is quite obvious for countries with comprador regimes.

The performance starts at 18.30 and lasts 45 minutes, and it’s kind of free, relying entirely on the alms of the audience. And now I googled it and found out that in 2013 they are already opening their own restaurant with a stage - well, show business forever...

Briefly about Rosana Broadway. Almost a twin of “The Smile of Angkor”, only without eating. And so the price is the same, and transvestites and other ladyboys are the same (in meaning, of course). That is, this is a classic cabaret, such as, for example, in Thailand the Tiffany Show, Fantasea or Alcazar.

This business is located 10-15 minutes from Pub Street and every day at 7:15 pm and 9:00 pm it shows about 15 different topics, which include in great detail the culture and music of popular countries in the city, i.e. Cambodia, Japan, Vietnam, England, China, India and Korea and etc...

The main thing to remember: you may be almost the only “white” there - the Chinese and Indians, Japanese and Koreans rule there!

Our advice and choice is Apsara Dance at the Koulen restaurant.

Firstly, it’s very close to Pub Street, you can walk there, and after the show you can come back and fill up

a fire of impressions in your favorite pub. The show starts at 19.30, ends around 9 pm, so life on the local “Arbat” is just beginning.

Secondly, the price. Officially - $12, and here I give one more piece of advice: don’t be lazy, come to Kulen during the day or in the morning, catch some administrator or waiter and agree with him about a table for the evening, and the most trump table, near the stage. It's very easy to do, the service is really friendly and bribery: we got a separate table with 3 chairs right at the podium after I offered 30 bucks without a receipt. Or rather, I asked like “do I need some piece of paper from you?”, to which the auntie-administrator waved her hands “know, know”, and then asked my name and summed it up in decent English: “know problems fo you, Mr. Alex.”

The funny thing is that from the age of two years old Masha she I didn’t take any money at all, although they installed a chair. It is clear that our thirty floated past the cash register, but technically the baksheesh amounted to a ridiculous 6 dollars - isn’t it lovely? 🙂

And thirdly, the tavern Apsara Dance is a really cool show, as all experts and amateurs say. Everything is debugged, no amateur performances, excellent light and musical accompaniment. Priverthe food will say that there are no bells and whistles like laser shows - well, to hell with them. After all, it doesn’t matter, people want and go to see how the “ancient” Khmers or the legendary apsaras danced. And here everything is very high level! The performance lasts an hour and consists of 6-7 numbers. Watch our digest video - everything seems to be well filmed and visible.

The restaurant is filled with mostly European-looking people, there are noticeably fewer Asians, but any crowd still causes trouble: there are too many people, probably several hundred. There are approximately 20-25 long tables, each with 20-30 people, probably based on the concept of “one bus - one table”. The tables are facing the stage, and people sit awkwardly, sideways, stretching their necks, crooking their spines. And from the distant tables, you probably can’t see anything at all.

Next, behind the public, is the buffet area. The cooks are right there, on the spot, boiling, frying, steaming, putting fresh food on plates, people patiently stand in long queues for each knife and ladle worker, and cold appetizers are swept away immediately and are rarely served.
The general background is clearly negative, especially ladies of retirement age grumbling, like “we had such a blast, and such a bummer at the buffet”...People circle around tables with empty trays and dishes instead of watching the concert - this, of course, is cruel.

Again, advice from us - if you are an independent traveler, and not a “bus traveler,” then arrive early, around 6 pm. The buffet is already open, but no one is there, you calmly eat your fill, and then take a bottle of wine, sit in the front row, stretch out your legs and spit on everyone... :)

I can't say anything good about the food itself. She's no good, and to put it in her own words, she's just crap. We just took advantage of the advice to arrive early, and bit and broke everything we could. At first it seems that the choice is huge, but the dry edible residue remains only “garbage”, that is, small and tough shrimp, and chicken skewers, for which you just have to stand in a terrible line.

Drink. Experienced tramps know that in Asia you can often eat something for free, but then pay through the nose for drinks. In Kulen the same story: for example, a can of local beer 0.33 weighed 7 bucks. We took a bottle of French dry red. There were three items on the menu on this topic, they took the middle one for $40, and brought a bottle of the cheapest type and taste - as they say, “thank you for being alive”! So, with burnt alcohol, everything is like in our Rush, The skates can easily be thrown away. Or an umbrella.

The summary is simple: do not expect to pamper your stomach in this place, look and run to the right places, and the price of 12 dollars per ticket in this case does not allow the “toads” to strangle you.

Be sure to stay after the performance and see what's happening on stage. The artists, lined up in 2 rows, stand with a sad look, and spectators jump around and take pictures. A very comical sight, especially when the Chinese do it. The Chinese comrades have a certain behavioral stereotype: they almost always, at all tourist sites in the world, show a “goat” at the camera. Like, victory will probably be ours... :)

In our film, some of the clowns really made me laugh, but it seems to me that our Mashulya was especially good, who at first simply stood in a column between the “apsaras,” soaked in the moment, and then started dancing and outshone everyone. Although what am I... oh, I’m a father... :)

Well, for those who are patient, I’ll tell you why this topic has such a dirty name, that is, who the “apsaras” are.

Once upon a time, gods and demons fell ill at the same time. Moreover, no medications helped the treatment: neither cannabis tinctures, nor injections of invaluable diacetylmorphine, brought through connections from the “golden triangle,” nor just the invented smoking mixtures of JWN. And then the great Vishnu, after consulting with the great Brahma and Shiva, suggested that the sick begin to churn the ocean in order to obtain the elixir of immortality - the miraculous “amrita”.

There was nothing to do, they caught a large turtle in the sea-ocean and placed the Navel of the Earth on it, which they wrapped in an infinitely long snake Wa Suki, some took the head, some the tail of the reptile. and let's churn.

The result was a natural churn, only on a universal scale.

A little later, various things began to appear in the light of day. Either horses and elephants, then trees, and then suddenly precious stones, gold and currency in cash collection bags. Sometimes cute grannies popped up, for example, Lakshmi went to the all-encompassing Va Suka, who managed to insert his tail everywhere... :)

Whether long or short, but while everyone was waiting for the appearance of amrita, a red-faced, husky woman named Sura appeared from the depths, who turned out to be the goddess of drunkenness. As they say, she had it with her, and after a few hours no one bothered, fraternization began instead of churning, and the next morning the men could not remember what happened yesterday and why this dark-haired girl was walking around in my shirt. Brahma approached everyone and in a stern voice pronounced a formula such as “you, as an honest person, are simply obliged to get married now.”

Please note, by the way, that all these time-consuming events did not in any way affect the health of the characters, which was shaken at the beginning of the legend. Why bother churning then, if everything is in order? There is strength for sex, they twist a snake into a ram’s horn a hundred times a day, and they also drink like hussars - something is wrong here, eh?

Be that as it may, the weddings were noisy, the ringed gods and demons again took up the ends of the Wah Suki serpent, but by all signs it turned out that the finish line was soon, and at least one canister of amrita should appear, when suddenly a dozen sexy girls jumped out of the abyss in a glamorous sea flock beauties. They took expectant poses, saying, why are you, blockheads, not paying attention to us, not grabbing us by the hand and dragging us into the bushes or down the aisle?

What is it! Men are now married, and you try to argue with some Halahala or make her jealous - you will instantly be left without manhood, in the literal and figurative sense.

And flocks of beauties in dozens kept appearing and appearing from the ocean, have already filled all the shores, but no one needs them, great and not so great gods and demons turn up their flu-like noses from them, continuing to wait for healing amrita.

And then Shiva gathered all the prolific girls together, looked at him with an unkind look and said: “That’s it, whores. From now on you will be called apsaras, and your work will be to please everyone who desires it. And you will also drink, smoke and curse at the same time, and persuade others, especially the righteous, to do so. Questions?"

“Well, we agree!” – the fastest one, whose name was Kundalini, answered for everyone.

That's what they decided, and while they were talking, several more millions of apsaras churned out, immediately scattered all over the world, and eagerly set about their noble mission.

Shiva gave them magical powers: now they can mutate into any creature, take the form of animate or inanimate objects, send curses or love madness, intrigue against lovers, dissolve marriages, possess sleeping hermits and drive potential maniacs crazy.

They love drunken orgies, gambling, beautiful things, expensive cars and luxury real estate. They rarely get pregnant, but if they get pregnant, they either have an abortion or throw the bastards on the side.

This is how the orderlies of the human forest turned out. Asian sculptors and artists adore them; they stand in orderly rows on the walls of Khajuraho and Angkor, Ajanta and Borobudur. On bas-reliefs and frescoes they either dance or copulate, and all this with imagination, fun, and sparkle. Although I personally am surprised that they find something attractive in these fat-fleshed, fat-legged prostitutes, although I’m not a prude at all... :)

In the Apsara Dance Show from the Koulen restaurant, the double standard is clearly visible. According to legend, we remember that apsaras are wild, loud-mouthed prostitutes, without complexes and regrets. And in the show, decorous, strict “blue stockings” walk across the stage, wrapped from head to toe in multi-layered brocade, simply embodied non-smey princesses and swan princesses. During the course of the play, they are pestered by boys - what is there, zero attention, a kilo of contempt!

In short, tolerant castrated bullshit about how to get to the library.

But you can watch it once...